Random.

Sometimes it feels like I’m so alone, even if when people are right with me. I’m unreachable at times. And it makes me just want to crawl away and hide from the entire world. I used to do that a lot more and no one seemed to notice. But these days I have different people in my life. And they don’t seem to want me to do that. But I still want to sometimes. In fact, most of the time lately I just want to disappear.

- blackthorn28

Everyone experienced the same situation, am I right?

No?

Well, I do.

Right now.

Why beg?

I can't wait to get my driving lisence.

God knows why.

Yell !

I AM PROCRASTINATING MY

REVISION.

Countdown to Final:

16 days.

Whack me?

T_T

Holiday!

I'm here to blog about something that most of my friends blogged about.

HOLIDAY IS HERE. YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!
This was first what I thought before and when I got home from school today. As you know, school if off for one week because of Hari Raya. I even skipped my chinese class (again) due to today-last-day-of-school-dont-have-mood-to-stay-back-la.

BUT THEN, now I miss school.
Because I'm rotting already. School nowadays is fun, minus the lessons and homeworks of course. I love my class, especially the GG's =) WE ROCK! Hahaha. Oh yeah, I said I'm missing school now. Yess I really am, if there's no lessons on in school, my class will be the best best best place to lepak ever!

Ok now, another thing people have been cursing about. The FINAL EXAM. Approaching in 17 days time, WTH?! Everyone was actually cursing the teacher who set the exam timetable when we first got it. Sorry but we couldn't help it, because the exam lasts for 3 weeks! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! And both papers of a same subject are dragged sooooo far apart from each other, FOR WHAT?! Because of this I need to study twice for all the pure science subjects and SEJARAH. Crapppppp!

Oh well, I guess the 'whoever-concerned' simply like to torture the students. Who knows right?


And the best thing is, I didn't even start any of my revision. You say can die or not?

Lazyness, sigh -..-


I know how it feels, I know how much it hurts, but sorry I couldn't help a thing. It is just.... like that, you know? I no longer know how to deal with you, and the feeling of repelling is always there. Why why why why why? Maybe less words will do both of us good..

You know I don't like you right?

So just shut up lahh, can?!

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? xD

Let's see what have I full-filled in my to-do's and reminders.


1. I did none revision, except for a lil bit of homework.

2. Today isn't my day to online so it wasn't included.

3. Its 11.30pm now and I'm here blogging.

4. I almost fell asleep during Sejarah class.

5. Nahhh, complete failure.


. . . . .

OH crap. Fine fine, let's forget bout those rubbish.

I'm here, still awake, because of Cecilia's cookies! Hahaha, she wanted some snacks when she's out to Singapore and she requested COOKIES. Haaa, my pleasure to bake her some? XD

I guess we both are meant to be like that.
Know why? Because I see you the same way you see me.

I love you, but I don't respect you.
It explains everything? Perhaps. =)

As if you really do..

C'mon lahh, get a life!

To-Do's

I listed some to-do's and reminders to myself for the coming days. Sigh, I seriously have to do that to make sure my life is back on track and nothing is being neglected anymore. Well because.. As you can see, I had been ignoring my homework for the past few weeks and my school bag was never touched after I came back from school.

Sounds ridiculous right?! I KNOWWWW!!

Notes to ME.

1. Final exam is on 13 Oct and you have only 20 miserable days left! Start studying?!

2. Get your eyes off the monitor will you? Don't be glued to the computer!

3. Sleep early, at least before 11pm? Look at your soggy eyes and eyebags lahhh..

4. Stop dreaming in class? -..- With such great teachers around, I take it as a big challenge.

5. I prefer keeping this to myself =) B T C !! Don't ask me about it.



Please please please ME, practise these? People out there, help me out! Kindly REMIND me whenever I go the wrong way, hahaha. You know, I have very bad self- control :(

Best example?
My school bag is again untouched today while I actually promised myself to start my revision. So what I did for this whole evening? Some useless rubbish which I know is a total waste of time.

Oh well.... Big big sigh!

So it that your way?

Alright, I'm up to it!

Mannn, I really hate you that much huh?

Happy Birthday My BBBBBBBFF!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PING aka my LAO PO !

Finally, finally, welcome to sweet 16 :) Wish you have a better birthday than last year's, hahaha. I still remember how moody you were when I went to your house to accompany you during birthday, lool. Stay happy always yeah.. Even though we might not be as close as we were but remember, whenever you need a shoulder or an ear to share, I'm always there. No matter what, in my heart you are still my very best best friend. I promise :)))

Glad that you liked my present, hehehe. Wanna know how it was made? Hmm, let me show you! xD

First..

I spent half a day in the kitchen and stayed up to 1am to make these =)

Then,

From this plain, empty little box.. Due to my overwhelming semangat, after making the cookies, I continued to work on this box until 5am..

And the next day,

After a lil bit more work done in the morning, this is the outcome. Pretty? I loveee the bear! <3

Lastly,

The photo was taken in a moving car because my mum was rushing me and I didn't have time to snap a photo of the very final product. So yeah, after some packaging, this was on the way to the birthday girl's house. I actually made sure she wasn't at home before I went to give her a surprise when she comes back. =)

Okay okay, don't be so touched, LOL! Taste good or not you're gonna say its nice, I DON'T CARE! XDDD hahahaha~ So sorry I didn't manage to celebrate with you, but at least I did all I can. Once again, happy birthday! =)

Bestie Forever!
<3

Picture Post

Basically this is a simple photo post. Nehhh, I'm lazy to think of what to write, so why not let the pictures do all the talks? :)

First, take a look at my wrist.

What do you think? Pretty? Yes yes don't worry, your eyes are fine and you didn't see it wrong, this IS my wrist. Wonder why is it 'decorated' like this? Ask the volleyball, blame the volleyball, loool!

Next, guess what's in the picture?

If you said cookies, BINGO! Yeap, they are cooookies. Handmade cookies made by me and only me for someone special. HEHEHE. For me, they are pretty good. But its not me who judge it, so yeah... I really hope its good enough for you to say you like 'em! They don't look attractive maybe, but hey! Don't judge the cookie by its look okay? xDD

Yummmmm...

Officially fallen.

If you happen to notice, my blog has been quite dead lately with no or less updates compared to those days when I first started blogging. You don't have to ask why because firstly, its too simple! The blogger is getting lazy, full stop. Second, the blogger will not be able to give you a satisfying answer as she herself is too, wondering why is she leaving her blog like this.

I'm in a really miserable mood recently. Not that anything bothers me, nothing does actually, but there's a feeling of hoping to be left alone whenever I'm home or even sometimes in school. Now when I go online, I prefer to appear as offline as I want nobody to disturb or mess around with me. Not that I hate to social but I'm just simply not in the mood for it. It feels so frustrating whenever some bloody annoying windows pop out on the toolbar, and I tend to ignore them no matter what or who they are.

Nowadays I'm lack of mood and the 'push' to do anything, almost everything including school, study, games, blog and stuff like that bore me to death. There's nothing I could do to cheer myself up even just a lil bit. Everything seems so boring and life has been really dull these days. I know it shouldn't be this way, I know I should be enjoying my life as a teenager. Yes I know very well and I really want to, but somehow I failed.

I always knew that I'm one who will never hestitate to treat someone or something with no mercy whenever I feel it is not right. It is called self- centred I guess? Well, yeah I do admit that sometimes I am. When it comes to certain matters, I really am. I care nothing about the rest but only myself and my own desire. But afterall it only happens once in a blue moon, as most of the time I tolerate ALOT with people and matters around me.

No I'm not ashamed, nor I am thick- skinned to say it out. I had been really really patient with people around me all the while that people tend to think I'm so soft and bla bla bla. Well the fact is, I wasn't really that soft actually, its all about the patience and the tolerance I've trained myself to practise. Because I know, there's no point to argue over some small matters. Why waste energy?

.
.
.

Its no longer a prediction, its now a fact, a solid- hard fact that can not be debated. Something has gone out of the frame, beyond the boundary. I do know I stand a mini-tiny-almost-zero chance but it couldn't be resisted. I had fallen but I did not regret for it, I'm not regret for it, and I won't be. It will always be a secret until the day it should be revealed comes. Orelse, it should be kept forever.

I feel a tinge of jealousy, telling me its not just an imagination.
And I'm surprised it actually hurts so much.

And as for you, I'm really sorry for the way things are going lately. I seriously don't know what the hell is wrong but everything seems so different that there's nothing left unchanged from the past. I feel so drifted away but there's nothing I could do. I did try to fix and send it back on track again but sadly, it didn't seem to work. You might not even bother anyway, even I wonder whether I really care or not but still, I'll try hard to not let it be this way.

Because there might not be anything left in the end.
Not even a single piece of memory.


IMYMAM.

HAHAHA.

Found out something really really surprising that
I had never, never, NEVER expect it to happen, not even a thought of that.

And its so FUNNY.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA.
I can't stop laughing right now, LOOOOL.

Ignore me.. xD


HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA.

xDDD

Mooncake Festival?

Mooncake Festival is tomorrow, yayyy!

Well urh, okay I admit that I'm faking my excitement out, hahah. It makes no difference to me this year actually, except for the presence of mooncakes at home. I just can't feel the atmosphere of the festival we used to have when I was still a little girl, with all the lanterns and candles with the neighbours kids =) The most memorable one was we used to build up our own very-simple stove using bricks and candles, and we actually fried eggs, rice and INSECTS on it. HEHEHE, childhood experiences xD

So anyway, one of my aunt organised a mooncake festival party and invited us as well. How was it? Well.... It was all about food, food and food. Damn =.=

Here are some pics taken there.

I eventually got bored after a while, so I went around the house and took some photos. Check out the 'rumah orang kaya', lol.

Then my sister joined me, and there goes....

Reflections :)

Something special today. I actually had water war with my sister and PARENTS as well. We were playing with water guns outside of the house where everyone could see us. Imagine the 40-plus-almost-50-parents and 2 secondary students aiming each other with water guns with their clothes all wet, can you believe it?!!!

HAHAHAHAHA.

Enjoyed it though. xD Sounds childish and crazy enough but so what? Its funn!

Wth is wrong now?!
Alright, let's get this done.
STOP STOP STOP and STOP before uou regret!!
(Regret already, though..)
Have some principle, please?

Nothing lasts forever.

I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me
want to come back home.

I'm known as the emolicious.

I guess that's what make me go emo so easily?


What a lame excuse lahh... -__-

Being emo isn't something special to me anymore, and I wonder why? Ever since I stepped into my secondary school life, its as if I'm totally two different person. I'm not as cheerful as I was in primary school, I've lost all the confidence I had, I'm always keeping quiet and doing my own stuff. It feels like I'm all stucked up and couldn't find a way to express myself.

And I hate it.

Though I'm now dealing better in school and that I'm with more friends, but sometimes the feeling of being isolated leftout do exist.

To be honest, I really wonder why can't I just be sporting and active like how I used to be again? Is it really that hard to change? I've no idea. All I can do is try hard, and pray hard that it will come true someday.

Yes, someday.

You just don't know it..

Nobody knows =]

When time goes by..

This is the class I'm currently in. Well, to be honest, I didn't like this class that much when I first entered it. There was once when my hatred towards it grew even stronger, but as time flies, I've learned to enjoy being a part of the class and laugh out loud together with them. I've learned to adopt and adapt myself to the "SO-RANDOM-lahh.." atmosphere of 4sc2. Though there are certain people whom I still couldn't agree with, but I would sincerely say that I love this class.

And I'm really excited with the hangout plan, class T-shirt and class party with all the 'licious-es'. Oh yea, call me emolicious! Hehehe, we rock and we rulee~! =D

I almost had heart attack when Miss G the principal passed by our class during Maths class. A few gang of us, named the GG's, including me the monitor, Tar the prefect, Carissa the probee, Amanda, Cecilia, Andrianna, Weng Yian, Sonia, Farzana (did I left out any?) were sitting at the backkk of the class having our own discussion about certain 'tak-tau-malu people' while the teacher was struggling to teach in front there.

Miss G: "Excuse me Miss L, may I know why is there a group at the back there?"

Uh owwww....

Miss L: "Errrr, we are having discussion, about yesterday's homework."

Miss G: "Then why are they having their own discussion there? Aren't they suppose to be listening as well? Why is there a double teaching in this classroom?"

Then Farzana whispered... "Guys, do you mind if I say something?"

Farzana: "Miss G, because Chai Yeen is quite smart, so we thought of asking her to teach us about yesterday's homework."

There goes the blablablalablabla and phew, finally Miss G went off without any lecture.

I MUST THANK FARZANA FOR BEING A FAST REACT-ER AND SAVED US FROM BEING LECTURED/ PUNISHED/ YOU-WILL-NEVER-KNOW. HAHAHA. Though the reason she gave made me feel pretty awkward, LOOL.

Today's volleyball practise was the most unfortunate practise ever. Why? Because the sun was bloooooody hot, because I've got 1 blue black on my middle finger and another on my palm, because I've accidentally hurt my elbow when I was trying really hard to serve the ball with the 'spike-ish' way. Shook Mun horrrrrr? *STAB STAB!

The entire progress is getting worse. I always thought that I made it, but when it comes to the end of the day? Oh damn, everything's ruinned. Sigh sigh, can't you just stop being crazy over it? That's so abnormal!

I have a weird mood today. I wasn't emo, in fact I was pretty cheered up actually. But when I face the computer, I just don't feel like chatting with anyone or being disturbed even though I was half-rotten for the whole day. Don't ask me why because I'm asking myself that question too. >_<

Just maybe, I know the one I really wish for will never come.

So yeah, no point right?

=]

The whisper

Because things often go against the way you want it to be.

I'll stay strong and somehow get through it.



That's what we called life, right?

=)

A real touching quote..

There are times when I can't decide whether to see you or not, I want to see you because I miss you but there are times when I don't want to see you because everytime I do, the fact that you don't see me the way that I see you hurts me even more ...

It hurts so much,
that I hear the cries of a broken heart...

Lifeless

Feeling so lifeless right now, as I spent my whole day sitting in front of the computer and did nothing meaningful.

I hate people who are self- centred.

I hate people who fake things out.

I hate people who crap hell much thinking its funny, but in fact its not.

I hate people who annoys me so bloody much.


In short, I'm annoyed, by some human.
Plus, its school tomorrow.
Imagine my mood right now?


So yeah, stay away from me and leave me alone.

p/s: Sorry people, I'm lazy to reply tags today.

Weird, why am I feeling this way?

Speechless

Someone asked some people which I think includes me, to shut up.

Sigh, not that I'm trying to point at you or compare or what-so-ever-that-you-think but that's simply how I feel ok? I'm looking for a way to share and express bout what I think and I tell you because I thought you would care and understand since you were the one who always shared about this matter alot with me all the while. But if that's how you take it, maybe I should really keep it to myself then?

Nobody seems to understand how I really feel, in fact all they say are 'stop being fake and annoying' or 'don't mengada' without standing at my position and think from my standpoint. Honestly, I do see the difference between my current image and the-past-years-me. I seriously don't want to go back to the old me and that's what made me being so concerned about this particular issue. Is that a crime too? Is being afraid something so wrong that you have to react like I've just destroyed your life?

I'm in fear, and you know how depressing it is when people just turned you down like that when you are trying to release your fear by expressing it to someone you trust and expecting some comforting words in return?

That's so freaking disappointing.




Think again, is it me or you who's taking it too seriously now?


I'm speechless.
Not a bad thing though, since I'm suppose to shut up, right?


I apologise if I insulted anyone in a way, simply wanna voice out bout how I feel.




.
.
.
.
.





I wish for a warm, tight hug right now.

Dear bear, are you kind enough to spare me a hug?
Please?

Because I feel lonely...
=(

Faileddd!

ROARRRRR, today's a big big failure again! I thought I can somehow improve on it since yesterday I've got it quite well but yet, I was wrong! I know I'm surely gonna regret someday, and the day is soon to be here. I'm sureeee! So Chai Yeen, stop being crazy please? -_-

[You can just ignore me, you know. Lol...]

Time really flies, weekend's here again! Wow, and my dear sis is coming back from Liverpool, UK tomorrow afternoon. Three months gone just like that, and what did I do? Nothing I could remember except uncountable hangouts I've had with the LYLAS' and some with the N20's. School and books and studies? *STARE BLANKLY* Understood? xD

I camwhore alot these days, wonder why? To kill time, maybe.

When human meets dog.. *STARE!

I'm going deeper,

and I'm willing to let myself be... =)

2p's in 3 days, Wth!

Sometimes people just don't realise how thick- skinned they are. I'm sick of seeing people who never think twice before deciding anything, enough said? I hope you know who you are, but too bad, I suppose you are just too into-yourself to realise. And what's your I-really-got-no-time-to-do-already got to do with me when its suppose to be YOUR job? Its not the first time you are throwing your work to me, and all the while I had been doing pretty much of your part, don't you think so? My patience has its limit alright? Damn.

I've been slacking really ALOT these days. Came back from school, stuffed my stomach with BUNCH of food, went for nap, woke up and ate again. Woahhhh right? I know, that's called a pig's lifestyle. What's wrong with me? I wonder too, lol. Nevermind, that's the last time. =)

Random pictures

[You can see how lazy am I from these pics]

My messy table piled with work.

See my reminders? Soooo many not done T.T

My Renjer paperwork. (Damn!@#$%)

Halfway doing homework, BORED.

Dreaming, sense the sleepy-ness in my eyes.

I surrender. Let's just sleeep! (on the dictionary)

Conclusion? I'm a lazy bump. I always know that!
By the way, I would now officially declare myself as a night cat =)

When I'm in certain group, I assume that I am part of it.
But why am I feeling leftout so often?
I know nothing about you and your problems.
So what's sharing about?

=(

January Baby!

JANUARY
[!] for the bingo's and [x] for the not's.

Stubborn and hard-hearted. [!] sometimes cold-blooded as well =)
Ambitious. [X]
Serious. [!]
Loves to teach and be taught. [X] Not so?
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. [!] Hehehe, I admit.
Likes to criticize. [!] xD Again, I'm honest! Watch out =X
Hardworking and productive. [!]
Smart, neat and organized. [!]
Sensitive and has deep thoughts. [!] But sometimes people just don't know.
Knows how to make others happy. [!]
Quiet unless excited or tensed. [!] Very, very true!
Rather reserved. [!]
Highly attentive. [!]
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. [!] Now I know why I hardly get sick but freeze easily..
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. [!]
Loves children. [X]
Loyal. [!]
Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. [!] Doubt the social abilities but the jealous part, yah true!
Very Stubborn and money cautious. [!] Stubborn yes, but money cautious? Depends =)

=======
All of a sudden I have an urge to find out more about myself. Haha, boredom really changes a person =.=

So, I am really a typical January baby huh. xDD
Proud to be =)

Copy-and-Paste Post!

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

=======
Came across this when I was surfing everywhere. Lifeless, I know.
Okay back to the statements. I always wonder which horoscope I belong to because my birthday fell on the cusp, which is in between Aquarius and Capricorn. So, which suits me more? I did try doing research to find the accurate one by entering time of birth blabla and the results says I'm more to Capricorn. But from here, I see I belong more to Aquarius?

Hmmmm... What do you think?