Move on, with the new me.

CHECKLIST for 30 MARCH 2009

- BM Lisan ( )
- Maths 1 ( )
- A. Maths 1 ( )
- Comprehension ( )
- Smoking Survey ( )
- Moral Kerja Amal ( )
- Read up 'Alcohol' ( )
- Revision ( )


Uh ow, procrastination alert?

Lol, whatever la. So what if exam's coming?
I have excuse for screwing it - ITS CLASHING WITH THE VOLLEYBALL COMPETITION CAN?!!

Blehh =P

====

I promise myself. Forget all the past crap shit, make it serious this time.
No more no more!!

I feel like dancing suddenly.
Sweat?

TGIS

FINALLY ITS WEEKEND AGAIN!

The whole week had been exhausting.

This applies to almost every student I think, because holiday just ended and before we actually managed to switch back to study mode again, homeworks already come pouring in like nobody's business.

Teachers were rushing their asses off to make sure they can finish the syllabus on time and us? Trying hard to absorb (lol, at least some of them were) and most of the time showing a puzzled look. At the end of every lesson, its normal to see our heads down on the table.

Anyway, we had our annual photograghy session on Wednesday and Thursday. The most annoying part of it was the never- ending announcements calling for members of societies to get down. Even teachers were frustrated with it.

Teacher "So girls, KMM telah bekerjasama dengan Jepun to..."
Speaker "Maaf kerana mengganggu, diminta AJK Kelab...."
Teacher *Pause with a helpless look*
Teacher "Ok let's continue. KMM coorperated with Jepan because of the..."
Speaker "Saya ulang, diminta AJK Kelab....."
Students "AIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!#$@#"
Teacher *Rolls eyes and shakes head*

Personally, I think it was quite a waste of time because every body took forever to settle themself with their desired pose. And shhhh, the photographers suck! Well if you are to work for an English school, then at least please learn how to speak to the students in English lah. Not everyone could understand your Mandarin okay.

April is coming soon.

It'll be a super busy month and I'm gonna hate it. Volleyball competition is clashing with my Intervention Test on 20th. Sighh..

My driving test on 7th April.
Ahhh, that's freaking fast can >.< Thinking of it is already enough to make me nervous.
Hopefully I'll pass, I don't want to waste money and time. =(
*pray*

Middle of the night.

Good morning everyone.

Stop rubbing your eyes, they are fine. It is indeed 1am in the morning now and tomorrow I mean today, is a school day. FYI, I'll be getting up and going to school in 5 hours time.

Ever since that idiot digged up my blog, I decided the best time to blog would be now, when everyone's in their own dreamland, it'll my time to be here to spit out all my thoughts, with the companion of the water dripping sound from the aquarium, sacrificing my sleeping time just for this and end up going to school the next day in a zombie state and big, puffy eyes with two incredible eye bags under them.

Am I going insane?
Am I ruinning myself?
Am I pushing myself to the very dark side of life?

I think so.

All things I'm going or have went through recently are, honestly, pretty bad for myself. But unfortunately, I'm too weak to control myself. I'm losing the war. My desire beats my self- control and the plan fails every single time.

How does it feel?
Painful, depressing, guilty, disappointing, regretful, discouraging, exhausting, tiring, killing.
The feeling you get when you want something so badly, but could not be achieved because of your own mistakes, your own hands that destroyed your hopes, your chances, again and again.

I wish to end this. I know it will never do me any good, in fact it kills me, bit by bit, day by day. But everytime when it strikes, I feel so helpless, so useless. I could do nothing but to surrender and follow what it says.

I wish I could turn back the time.

===
Thank god its Friday.
Dammit, co-curriculum activities are never ending and I'm freaking sick of it.

I need some rest.

You are NOT welcomed!

When I change my bloglink, I believe you are not that dumb to not realise what is my intention of doing it.

Come on, we all have privacy. Stop trying to dig out my secrets if I don't want you to. I know blog is a public diary and that is why I'm not locking it up, but I'm sure you know I do not want any of YOU to find out.

Don't force me to privatise my blog.
Make our life easy.

Know what's MYOB?
Mind your own business.

Stay away!

A decision.

Second day of school after the holiday.

As usual, school is never enjoyable. I have no idea why I hate the school so much that I actually felt like crying on Sunday night. I didn't speak on Monday morning at home, not even a word. I stepped into the school compound with a long, black face, forcing myself hard to reply the greetings with a fake smile. At that time, everybody seemed annoying to me.

Why, you ask me? Isn't school life an enjoyable thing according to almost everyone?
I wish I have the answer too.

Could the miserable mood I'm going through lately be the one to blame?
Or maybe my school is just simply too suckish than other schools.

Mood swing or holiday mode, I do not know. But what I'm sure of is, I hate my life now, and sometimes even myself. I feel like I don't belong to anywhere, not school, and definitely not home. I hate to stay home. I go out whenever I get the chance, because staying at home wouldn't do me any good. Emotionally, especially.

I guess I've become the anti social person at home. I hardly speak, even if I do it wouldn't be in a proper way. I often ignore the words, I always seem frustrated. Especially when its him, I couldn't help but to treat him invisible. I didn't mean to do that, but the reaction just comes naturally. Ignore him, that's what always pop up in my mind.

Nobody agrees when I call myself emo. Hah, I think I did a good job in wearing a smiling mask in school.

Girl, cheer up. Its an important year and you know that very well.
Please don't ruin it with your own hands.
There's only one chance in your entire life, no turning back.

Good luck, and stick to it.

Genting

You know I hate to rot at home.

So yesterday, I went to Genting! Alone? Not really, my mum went with me. Just that we seperated and walked our own way right after we reached there.

We took bus from Putra LRT station and then boarded the Skyway.

Opps?

There you go =)

Nice?

I didn't enter the theme park as I'm pretty bored with the rides already. They should really upgrade their theme park and add more rides before everyone feels the same way as I do.

I was exploring Genting instead. Proud to say, at the end of the day nobody can ever call me a lost sheep in Genting anymore!

I was waiting for the uncle to move away,
but I guess he was just too dumb to realise it.

I met up with Ping and Joey there. Poor Ping was so bored, hahah! She could foreseen how the rest of her trip would be, so did I xD

Same thing that girls do when they meet. CAMWHORE!
I was half forced actually, ha ha -.-

In the toilet.

Spotted in Starbucks, HAHA :X

Left them and met back with mum when it was time to leave. Boarded the Skyway then the bus, again.

In the bus.

And then, the car...

The wind.

Half an hour later...

I'm home!

And the two naughty creatures who happily jumped around my mum but didn't even bother to greet me.

Grrrr..

5sc2 rocked Mid Valley !

Class outing was AWESOMEEEEE !!

Imagine a group of sakais in the same shirt jumping, screaming, laughing, camwhoring and posing everywhere in the mall?

That's what we did. HAHAHAHA xD

After some waiting, we started off with a movie named Race To Witch Mountain. Nice one, thrilling enough. And hillarious too xD I laughed alot. Even when people were not laughing, I was. Haa, maybe I was just too hyper.


Then its lunch time~ Oh btw, everyone changed into the class T shirt. I love the shirt sooo much though there are some colour and alignment errors, but so what~ Its still nice! People shot us an one- kind look when they see a crowd of monkeys squeezing into the toilet to change, haaa! (Oh damn, I just realised I didn't take a single pic of the shirt. Its in my washing machine now T_T)

We went Domino's, but sadly there wasn't enough seats for all 26 of us. HAHA, not surprising la right xD So we end up seperated and ate ourselves.


Then, its camwhore time! Honestly, I was shocked to see how CRAZY the 5sc2-ians can go when they camwhore. Gosh, alllll the passer bys were looking and an uncle even came and syiok sendiri with us, LOL~ We grabbed a trolley, threw all our bags in and did all kind of lame poses with it. Right in front of Cold Storage, yes we did xD

Under the escalator, so dark =(

Cecilia's ugly pose =P

Weng Yian!
(I don't know what was I posing)

Aashween!

Revitha!
My face looks twice as big as hers,
silly you to move backward! xD

Dano!

Addina, the assistant!
Shut up, I know she's tall T_T

Shadzrinda!

Ming Hui!

Amelia!

Cecilia, Farzana, and half of me!


Cecilia!

A lot ALOT ALOTTTTT more to come when I get the pictures! >.<

We also visited Diamond & Platinum as what Mdm Grace told us to, haaa! And we found another jewellery shop named Diamond & Gold, so we urhh.. promoted it too?

We met an indian singer (but I forgot his name) and he took picture with the whole class. How cool right? xD

Ok, I NEED MORE PICTURES! People who brought their camera pls pls send the pics to me!!

We were dismissed at around 4.30pm when everyone complained about how tired they were, lool. Cecilia and I continued lepak around. Thanks to Weng Yian and her gang, I bought this!

A pair of sneakers from MCKY. Heeee, don't get shocked. I'm not that rich. It was on SALE~ Cecilia and I tried, considered and hesitated again and again, finally we decided to get them!

This is mine, in white.
Cecilia bought pink one, as usual~
But I forgot to snap a pic of hers =(

Pretty, isn't it? =)

I went home by ktm and it was worse than a can of tuna fish. Oh well, its KTM, what do you expect right?


The end of a perfect day =)
In short, I simply loveeeed the outing!
I bet we made those people who saw us miss their high school life, hehh!
5sc2 rocksss larh xD

I'll wait, for now.

Whatever la.
When you don't want something you can give all sort of excuses.

I'll wait for my lisence.
And nobody can stop me.

N O B O D Y.

B L A N K

The entry space was left empty for soooo long before I typed these words.

Honestly, I have nothing to blog about, but then I feel guilty to leave my blog untouched, that's why I am here crapping, babbling, and whatever-ing.


Random:

ωuugui. / и2o says:
lol
hii C=
how u been
doing?

γєєп ° says:
fine and not fine
hahah

ωuugui. / и2o says:
lool
yeah -.-''
always de lah u

See, that's how my life is. Boring, boring and boring. The same thing again and again that people could already know how's my life going before I say a word.

Latest event?

My sister finally had her official graduation ceremony. I didn't want to go at first, mind you I hate all these long, dragging ceremony a lot. But well, its my sis! Fine then, I'll endure. And as what I've expected, I did not enjoy at all, especially when my sister's course was somewhere at the end there. Whatever la, its over. Took some pictures and poof, that's it. So meaningful yet so meaningless.

Went lepak in Midvalley after that, because I simply didn't want to go home.
I've been going out very often with friends or by myself lately. Haa, maybe going out alone sounds funny to you, but for me, its somehow better than staying home. I don't understand why but I really hate staying home these days. Especially when he's around.

I shouldn't, I know.

I feel sorry too, I'm not cold- blooded.
Or am I? I shall figure that out later.


I find myself rebellious.
Very.
Is that enough to conclude everything?

The Guilt.

Sigh, I did it again.

I tried to resist and I tried to change, but I failed again and again.
Say bye to my effort all this while. I'll regret, yes I know.
The feeling sucks.

Nevermind, I promise this will be the last time, okay?
Be tough, keep your words.
You can do it. Trust me!

===

Back to school life.

I've just discovered something. Maybe 'discover' isn't the suitable word as I was told about it, but whatever lah. That's not the point.

Lady, if you are not satisfied with anything I do, come to me and tell me straight. You don't have to complain to other people who have not even seen the way I worked. Do you think it is proper to spoil my image in someone's eyes before I start working with her? You might have already set a bad impression of me in that someone's eyes though I have not even given the real first impression of myself! That's freaking unfair okay?



Procrastination is growing in me. Homeworks are pilling up but I don't even bother to touch them. Told ya I'm not in the mood for it, forcing will never work for me. Maybe I'll somehow end up like the poor writer, but who cares. Enjoy now, regret later! Haa~


I'll be out for the whole day tomorrow. (And I am so glad about it)
Its time to splash the water~
Desa Water Park, here I come!!! ;D

Sucks.

I wish I am a submarine that I can sink into the ground where nobody would notice me, or a fallen leaf, free to come, free to go and nobody gives a damn.

This random idea somehow found a way to sneak into my mind today. I am not emo, mood swing is a better term to describe it I guess.

A serious one.

I do look and sound normal in school, but nobody knows what's running in my head. I've been very impatient these days (its pretty obvious I think) , I get irritated and annoyed easily, I couldn't bear with noise, I'm always frustrated even with tiny matters, I frowned a lot, I cursed when I saw bitches bitching, I walked like a zombie, I've lost my interest in almost everything, I don't feel like doing anything but to stay far away from the crowd and bind myself into the wall.

In short, I feel like isolating myself from the world.


I wonder what made me so miserable.

Is it the busy schedule I'm having now? I know I have no right to complain compared to people who fill up their days with tons of tuition classes, but being busy is not my thing. I hated staying back since I was in form 1, and now I have to stay back everyday. So what if I'll be bored at home? I don't care, I just want to go home. School makes me feel empty, though being home doesn't really make a big difference either, I just want be home.

At least I have a room at home and I get to be alone if I want.

Procrastination is another thing, and I believe it is somehow related to the moodswing. My homework is piling up like a mountain but I simply ignored them. Sorry but no, I am not in the mood for it, not in the mood for anything actually. I rather waste time sitting on the chair, staring at the dumb monitor and do nothing than to open my bag and dig out the bores-me-out homework.

Can someone name me something interesting?
I'll appreciate it.

．　．　．

Every incident has its effect. We can't pretend like everything's alright because it DID happen, the scar does exist, and it takes forever to heal. I'm sorry for the way it is but forgive me, I couldn't change a thing. I tried to fix it, I really tried, but it didn't seem to work. In fact, it just got worse.

I'm sorry, but its gonna be this way.

Sports Day BYE BYE!

Finally an update after so long!

Like all the St Marian's know, our sports day had officially ended. Pring house got 1st runner up! (I guess everyone who reads my blog knows anyway, lol.) To be honest, I didn't give a damn to the placing every year but I screamed like a mad monkey (monkeys do scream, right?) when Pn. Prema announced Pring house won the discipline cup, cheer leader cup and tent decoration this year! It was SURPRISING, and urhm, guess you can imagine the screams and cheers when Pring house was declared as the overall 1st runner up?

I'm happy not just because we got second, but most importantly we bet them! LOLX. Sorry but it really annoyed me, A L O T !

As for my non- athelete members, they all got something. Champion for one of the form and 1st runner up for the rest. Pretty good huh? Now, stop comparing it to last year's. Its good enough okay! So, the champions had ice cream and the runner ups had chocolates! Happy? You all sure happy lah, pity my purse!

After sports day, Cecilia and I went for T- shirt hunting for one whole day! Yes, ONE WHOLE DAY. Guess what? We went to 4 jusco outlets in one day just to hunt for some stupid blank Baby T's. Crap, I don't understand why would a blank, simple T shirt like this is running out of stock in almost every outlet?

Fortunately, after 2 days of hunting (Yes, I went hunting again, today.) I finally got all the T shirts for everyone. (Once again, thanks Ping!!) Hopefully we'll get the completed T shirt before school holiday starts and yayyy, here comes the class outing ^^


I'll be officially 'INSTALLED' (lol, I sound like a software? -.-) as the class monitor tomorrow. No, I'm not looking forward. I rather stay 'uninstalled' because I hate wearing a tie! ;(

But well, since its impossible for me to escape, let me just hope the ceremony will be dragged longer. Who doesn't love skipping classes? Heee, especially the booooooring sejarah class -_- What? Its all about the subject lah, not teacher ok!

I know my posts are boring without pictures, that's one of the reason I hardly blog too. I know its boring, but what to do... Cameras and handphones are BANNED in school =(

Maybe if you try talking to the ah-tau's in our school, my posts will change.
Yea right, dream on la~