As usual, school is never enjoyable. I have no idea why I hate the school so much that I actually felt like crying on Sunday night. I didn't speak on Monday morning at home, not even a word. I stepped into the school compound with a long, black face, forcing myself hard to reply the greetings with a fake smile. At that time, everybody seemed annoying to me.
Why, you ask me? Isn't school life an enjoyable thing according to almost everyone?
I wish I have the answer too.
Could the miserable mood I'm going through lately be the one to blame?
Mood swing or holiday mode, I do not know. But what I'm sure of is, I hate my life now, and sometimes even myself. I feel like I don't belong to anywhere, not school, and definitely not home. I hate to stay home. I go out whenever I get the chance, because staying at home wouldn't do me any good. Emotionally, especially.
I guess I've become the anti social person at home. I hardly speak, even if I do it wouldn't be in a proper way. I often ignore the words, I always seem frustrated. Especially when its him, I couldn't help but to treat him invisible. I didn't mean to do that, but the reaction just comes naturally. Ignore him, that's what always pop up in my mind.
Nobody agrees when I call myself emo. Hah, I think I did a good job in wearing a smiling mask in school.
Girl, cheer up. Its an important year and you know that very well.
Please don't ruin it with your own hands.
There's only one chance in your entire life, no turning back.
Good luck, and stick to it.
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